How many times have you heard someone say "I'll never be able to pardon myself for what I have done?" Maybe you are even guilty of sayimg those very words. Forgiveness is a extraordinarily difficult thing to offer another person who has offended or hurt you, but forgiving ourselves seems to be tougher still. There appears to be a tendency to hold ourselves far more accountable than we hold others for the very same wrong doing.
Why is that? One explanation is pride. While that may appear to be a contradiction, it's truly not. Whenever we impose rules that are different, or reguire a higher standards for ourselves than for others, that's simply pride. When we can find it within our self to pardon others, though not ourselves, we are announcing is that we are less capable of making a poor decision than others. We are saying that we believe our self to be more discerning, reasonable, more judicious and more careful than other people, and therefore, we haven't any excuse for doing what we did and shouldn't forgive ourselves. When your Heavenly Father, offers to forgive the transgressions of anyone who seek His forgiveness but we refuse to pardon ourselves, we are setting ourselves above others and that, is simply pride.
So how does one forgive one's self? Straightforward, in the same way you might forgive some other person. The elements are the same.
First, one must seek forgiveness from The Lord God for all sin ultimately is against your Heavenly Father. David King of Israel reminded us when he sought for forgiveness for sleeping with a married woman. He then compounded the offense when he had her husband sent to the front lines of battle where he knew he would be killed. Chapter 51 of Psalms verse three and four, he cries out to God and asserts, "For I know my sins, and my sin is ever before me. Against you and you only I have sinned and done what's evil in your sight."
God is ready and waiting to pardon your transgressions and then, He promises to never remember your sin.
I John 1:9 "If we confess our sin, He's faithful and just to forgive us our sin and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness."
The next step is to remember that to forgive is your decision, it is not a feeling. In the same way you should opt to pardon somebody, (not just try and feel happier about them or what they went and did) you should decide to pardon yourself.
Next, it's very important to understand that to forgive doesn’t necessarily imply excusing the action for someone else, or yourself. That is what is so potent about forgiveness. It's choosing to forgive in spite of the wrong or terrible thing done to or by you. It also implies not lingering on the wrong any longer or bringing it up again in any farther conversation, with others, or yourself.
When absolute forgiveness takes place, it involves taking pity on that person and recognizing that they need grace as much as you do. To forgive yourself means taking pity on yourself, as much as you would anyone else. With that, goes recognizing and acknowledging your desire for grace. Do not be hard on yourself. You are a human with short comings and flaws and a great ability for making mistakes. Take responsibility for the wrongs you have done, receive your Heavenly Father’s forgiveness and then extend mercy to yourself.
If, your Father in all His greatness and power unreservedly extends compassion when you ask, who are you not to do the same for yourself?
How To Forgive Yourself
To discover more about having a relationship with God and discovering His love that will truly set you free go to: How To Forgive Yourself
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